To be or Not to be?

Since I’m still trying to figure out this blogging thing, I’ve decided to try something I’ve never done before: use the internet as a sounding board for my relationship. This could give me some new insight, or back fire, but I don’t have many people in my real life that I can talk to about this, so why not tell some strangers!? I’ve been dating Sweet Man for 3 years and eight months today, since the end of our freshman year of college.  We’ve been living together since our first day back sophomore year, almost 3 years and 3 months ago. And I just realized how long that is.  Anyway, now that we’ve graduated from college, I feel like I’m ready to take the next step and become engaged. He however, thinks this is the worst idea ever and has no interest.  Normally, I’d realize that I’m being stupid and demanding a lot, but its hard when we are married all but in name, and I keep getting called a whore by the Catholics for living in sin.  He keeps saying that he doesn’t see a difference in getting married and living like we do now, and could happily continue like this forever.  But, I just found out the other day that he does see a difference, as I’m not invited to his family’s Christmas because I’m not a member of his family.  Wow. Talk about a slap in the face. So know that I know he sees a difference its really hard not to yell at him constantly. I realize that I made it easy for him.  I like living with him, I like acting married, and I enjoy what we have.  One of his big con points is that he feels marriage would tie him down and there are so many things he wants to do in life.  But if we broke up would he do those things? No! He would move back with his parents and wait for grad school to start.  I don’t want to give up our history, we have done everything together for almost 4 years and were best friends before that.  All of our shit is in one house, and if he left I would have to rent out our guest room.  I also realize that I would have to wait longer to get married if we broke up so why should I just not wait for him? I know all the pro’s and con’s of the situation, but I’m still having a really hard time and every day seems like an eternity.  I know a lot has to do with what his family thinks, and I’m not going to be able to change that, but what do you think internet? Wait, leave, any new points of view?

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One response to “To be or Not to be?

  1. Do YOU want to be with someone who feels like they are missing out on life by being with you? Why does he feel you hinder him from fulfilling his hopes and dreams? Do YOU want to be with someone who thinks on his own, only after his family thinks for him? Moving out and breaking up is hard, but being with someone on terms that don’t agree ends up being harder.

    I think is it is worth waiting for someone who is eager to spend their life with you,formally and informally, not someone who begrudgingly does so. I am sure there are plenty of bright spots in your relationship, however I think it is wise to consider the preceding questions.

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